Painting worth more when the artist dead

A man walks into an art gallery, he asks he owner if the paintings would be worth more when the painter is dead, the owner, wanting to sell says, "Yes! and at a high price too!" Later that day the artist that made the paintings walked in and asked the owner,

"Did you sell any of my paintings?"
"Well, I have good news and bad news."
"What's the good news?"
"A man walked in and asked if your work would be worth more when you were dead, I said yes, and we sold all your paintings at a great price!"
"Great! what's the bad news?"
"The guy was your doctor..."

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funny joke
artist joke

Paint my livingroom

Painter visits this blokes house and proceeds to ask him what he wants done in his living room.

The bloke says "I want the wall on the right painted red, the one on the middle painted white and on the right its to be painted blue. On the skirting I want a row of the word RANGERS RANGERS RANGERS. And on the wall behind a large painting of a Union Jack with King Billy on his horse".

The painter said "Sorry I can't do that ! "

And the bloke said "Oh,are you Catholic or do you support Celtic"

And the painter replied "No, its just I have never done a Paisley Pattern before ? "

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funny joke
artist joke

An artist's painting

An art gallery' curator asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts.

Two weeks later, the artist unveiled an enormous painting with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating.

After gaping at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be.

The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those f**king Indians come from?'"

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funny joke
artist joke